Two bored casino dealers are waiting at the crap table. A very attractive blonde woman from Mississippi arrived and bet twenty thousand dollars ($20,000) on a single roll of the dice.

She said, ” I hope you don’t mind, but I feel much luckier when I play topless.”

With that, she stripped to the waist; rolled the dice and yelled,
“Come on, Southern Girl needs new clothes!”

As the dice bounced and came to a stop, she jumped up-and- down and squealed

‘YES! YES! I WON! I WON!‘

She hugged each of the dealers…and then picked up her winnings, and her clothes and quickly departed.
The dealers stared at each other dumfounded.

………….

After a bit while… finally, one of them asked, “What did she roll ?”
The other answered, “I don’t know… I thought you were watching.”

Fun Facts:

1. Not all Southerners are stupid.
2. Not all blondes are dumb.
3. But all men… are men

A young executive was leaving the office at 6 pm when he found the CEO standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in hand.

“Listen,” said the CEO, “this is important, and my secretary has left. Can you make this thing work?”

“Certainly,” said the young executive. He turned the machine on, inserted the paper, and pressed the start button.

“Excellent, excellent!” said the CEO as his paper disappeared inside the machine.

“I just need one copy.”

You guys know what GPS is right? The Global Positioning System device?
Here ‘s a hint I got from wikipedia:

The Global Positioning System (GPS) is the only fully functional Global Navigation Satellite System (GNSS). Utilizing a constellation of at least 24 Medium Earth Orbit satellites that transmit precise microwave signals, the system enables a GPS receiver to determine its location, speed, direction, and time. Other similar systems are the Russian GLONASS (incomplete as of 2008), the upcoming European Galileo positioning system, the proposed COMPASS navigation system of China, and IRNSS of India.

Developed by the United States Department of Defense, GPS is officially named NAVSTAR GPS (Contrary to popular belief, NAVSTAR is not an acronym, but simply a name given by John Walsh, a key decision maker when it came to the budget for the GPS program).[1] The satellite constellation is managed by the United States Air Force 50th Space Wing. The cost of maintaining the system is approximately US$750 million per year,[2] including the replacement of aging satellites, and research and development.

Cheap and Reliable GPS

GPS are not all reliables. There sometime is software bugs, connections problems, bad results, and so on. But here is the most reliable GPS! No software bugs, No connections problems, No bad results!
And best of all …….. It’s cheap!

………….

This is one of those emails that gets passed around and around. But I actually found a touch funny.. thought you might too.

A little boy goes to his father and asks ‘‘ Daddy, how was I born? ’’

The father answers,

Well, son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway! Your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on Yahoo. Then I set up a date via e -mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber-cafe. We sneaked into a secluded room, where your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive.

As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, and since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later a little Pop-Up appeared that said:

………….

‘‘ You Got Male..!! ’’

The following is supposed to be funny! So, take it light!
I got it from a good friend with whom I worked side by side for a long time. In the IT Industry, of course! And we are still in the same business and probably will for a long time… So, without further more introduction, and the yadda yadda bla bla stuff… here it is!

The truth about working in the IT industry

1. We work weird (night) shifts…
Just like prostitutes.

2. They pay you to make the client happy…
Just like a prostitute.

3. The client pays a lot of money, but your employer keeps almost every penny…
Just like a prostitute.

4. You are rewarded for fulfilling the client’s dreams…
Just like a prostitute.

5. Your friends fall apart and you end up hanging out with people in the same profession as you…
Just like a prostitute.

6. When you have to meet the client you always have to be perfectly groomed…
Just like a prostitute.

7. But when you go back home it seems like you are coming back from hell…
Just like a prostitute.

8. The client always wants to pay less but expects incredible things from you…
Just like a prostitute.

9. When people ask you about your job, you have difficulties to explain it…
Just like a prostitute.

10. Everyday when you wake up, you say: “I’m not going to spend the rest of my life doing this.”
Just like a prostitute ……..

The end!